Time to Push

Timing is everything when laying concrete. Whether it is used to create the foundation of a house, driveway, patio or walkway – temperatures and timing play a critical part in how concrete cures and is ultimately finished. A popular method used in finishing concrete is called broom finishing.

 Have you ever walked down a sidewalk and seen rogue imprints in the concrete? Little handprints or declarations of affection like “Jack & Rose forever” written in the shape of a heart. Well…. Titanic fans know how that turned out. At first these little acts of vandalism may seem cute, but imagine the frustration of a hardworking, exhausted concrete layer who never saw them coming, as he rested his eyes in the work truck while waiting for the concrete driveway to dry well enough for a broom finish. Pushing too late would be ineffective and pushing too soon would mess it up, so he waited for the optimal time to push.

 It had to be going on the 14th hour of labor when transition kicked in and I strongly contemplated taking a life, even while I was there to bring one into the world. Yet with every “hee-hee-hee-hoo” that my former husband took, I edged closer and closer to that fine line. He was so engaged in his perfected breathing technique learned in our prenatal birthing classes that he was unaware of the danger he was in. In class it had been hilarious, but at that moment it was enraging as he gave each breath his all with his eyes wide open and forehead scrunched up on the hoo’s and a silly joker-like grin with the hee’s. The aggravating factor was that he had slipped out hours earlier to eat and made the unfortunate choice of getting extra onions on his Blimpies turkey sandwich. Every pungent, onion-laced hoo breath he exhaled, took me closer to the brink and made me want to punch him in those straight white teeth that he kept baring. Thankfully, he eventually realized that method was not serving either of us well and stopped before I snapped. We both knew that it was time for me to focus and summon every ounce of inner strength and bravery to do what I had never done before - push a precious life, our first-born daughter into the world.

Twenty-nine years later, this young lady is also a doula and can talk about childbirth for hours on end. It is for this reason that I know how crucial the timing is of pushing or not pushing in the transition phase of labor for the health and safety of mom and baby. This is a critical time for the healthcare professional or birthing provider to work in concert with the mother to monitor the situation and orchestrate the most opportune moments to rest and let nature work, and then when to tap into that inner fortitude, bare down and PUSH.

 The start of a brand-new year is the perfect time to be deliberate about what we want to accomplish and intentional with the timing of how we move to get there. Monitoring the rhythmic patterns in life and learning to wait for the natural progression of things to allow for an easier transition can ultimately yield a smoother and healthier experience. These are not times to let pain or frustration turn us around or fatigue cause us to drop our guard or move too quickly. The waiting period is a time where we can restore or conserve energy, remain watchful, breathe and prepare for that big moment when the time comes to grab hold of a hand, bedrail, finishing broom, job application, microphone, paint brush, instrument, writing pen or (insert your endeavor here) ….and give it our all with a nice, big PUSH.

Power of the Pivot

Learning to drive in New York City gave me an advantage on one very important life hack - the pivot. Learning to make a sharp U-turn or even a broken U-turn before the light changed and oncoming traffic came hurling towards me was an extremely important survival skill.

One sunny afternoon in the summer, my superstar appraiser mentee called with great concern in her voice - it was her very first solo appraisal assignment and she feared she would have to start all over. Upon inspecting her subject property, she learned that information on her subject property that was available online was incorrect by over 800 square feet. All of her comparable properties that she had selected prior to her inspection were based on INCORRECT information. After talking her down from scrapping everything and starting all over, we went through what she had and where she needed to calm down, stop, breathe and then just go in another direction. All was not lost, and she learned a very important lesson early on, trust but verify.

I cannot count the number of times I have been headed in the wrong direction in life and had to whip a yuuwee - as we NY teens called U-turns in the 80’s. These times can arise from behind the wheel of a car as well as from behind an office desk, on the other end of a telephone line, computer or phone screen and even on the other side of the bed.

Making the decision to stop cold in your tracks and go in a different direction is paramount to improved mental health. We have to be willing to admit to ourselves that the direction we are headed no longer serves us and we have to change course. Trust, I know this is not always an easy task to admit that we were wrong…for whatever reasons. In most instances we have invested, time, money and emotions that we do not want to see go to waste. But there comes a time where we have to cut our losses and (skkkkkrrrt) stop, turn and go in another direction.

These decisions are never easy. And they may not even be fluid. Give yourself the grace to fail forward, or pivot your way to your right track. Life is by nature a continuum and our best tool is to accept when we need to keep going or stop cold in our tracks and Pivot!

STAY TUNED, NEXT UP………Time to PUSH!